Current mood:	sympathetic
Entry tags:	death, grief, relationships

Loved ones grief
    In a way it has been bad around here for a couple of days.  Some people I love dearly have lost someone.

    See, I have these four stepchildren that I adore but they lost their real mom two days ago.  It is so sad in many circumstances, even sadder in this case as they were all estranged from her because she wasn't exactly the typical mom kind.  The sad fact is she pretty much died alone because of distancing herself from her own children and the fact that there was such a rift in these relationships is causing a lot of guilt for not having done more to mend it in these children of hers.  I think as the mother, she should have put forth more effort, but no one can know what she was feeling or thinking.

    I also feel bad because it has been commented upon  about my refusal to attend the services, some people think I should go for the children's sake, to be there for them.  But I think it would be disrespectful to her family and I didn't know her in life.  My husband even thinks I should go with him but I think he should go to his ex wife's funeral to pay his own respects and be there for the children. 

    If you have had a similar experience, let me know what you think or just comment in general.